Family Partiality or Devil's Influence

Friday, July 03, 2015

Today, I will be talking about my little sister. We used to be friends. I've been meaning to write about this for a long long time but I figured I shouldn't invest too much time in writing this. However, I think I would feel much better if I just expressed myself, so here goes.


I hate her with every ounce of hatred that I possess. She’s secretive, manipulative, inconsiderate and a compulsive liar. She lies about everything to everyone for no reason whatsoever. Sometimes I think her mental growth is stunted, most times I’m aware she’s just a bitch. Also, she probably has extremely low EQ. She’s almost fifteen years old. She used to be okay, as I mentioned. But at some point in her life, she decided to shut herself off from everyone. I’m not able to confirm if she’s like this with her friends as well, because as I mentioned - she’s secretive. Unlike my older sister and I, her life is completely private. Yes, it is normal to prefer some privacy. However, when your own siblings or parents know nothing about your life, that’s a little strange. She does nothing in her life other than go to school and tuition and study, and you may think, "Oh, she's hardworking" and yes she is, but it is not normal to not have a life. It is not normal to not go out with friends, to not want to take a break, to not want to watch a movie, to not listen to music at all, to not like spending time eating. One thing I found out is that she actually pretends not to know musicians (The Vamps, One Direction, Arctic Monkeys) other than Taylor Swift. We know for a fact that she knows lyrics to mainstream songs, popular celebrities like Harry Styles or Alex Turner or whatever band guys that I talk about. Like no joke, I talk about The Vamps / 5SOS / 1D all the time and she pretends not to know the members, but with her friends, she compliments them and fangirls - I don't understand why she has to pretend. It is okay to like band guys, isn't it? When she sleeps "too much", she'll stay up all night just to study to make up for "lost time". She studies obsessively, bringing study materials and homework to family gatherings, vacations - everywhere, which is rude. It is okay to spend most of your time studying, that's what Singapore encourages anyway, but it is weird for that to be all she's doing. Anyway, that was just an introduction to what she does.


She has the habit of closing the door to the study room for no reason. Sometimes, it's because of the noise of the TV from the living room downstairs so that's valid. However, there are other times like this one incident Farah told me about where the little sister was alone at home & Farah was on her way out but she still went up to the room and closed the door?? WHY??


My parents, my mom especially - is always on her side. Dad loves the fact that she studies that much. He doesn't care for rest, recreational activities or any of those little things that are important, huh. But let's forget about that. The story about my dad is way longer, let's save that for another time. This is about my mom, and my little sister. She is a mess. She leaves her things all around the house - all around my room, on my bed, my dresser, and the corner of the room that she shares with my older sister. Let's clarify. My room is the study room where I don't spend a lot of time in due to the fact that I'm currently not in school, and it is the room that the little sister spends almost all her time in. We all sleep in Farah's room. There's a corner, where her things are stacked up, messily - I might add, and my older sister (Farah) and I, have told her multiple times over the past few years to clear the area up. Throw what she didn't need, and just neaten the area. Don't get me wrong, we would clean that area up ourselves, but it's mainly her things there and the last time Farah threw some of the stuff away, she got yelled at by mom. So we got the message: Not allowed to touch the little sister's things. So we asked her to clean it up, and we give her lots and lots of time. Years. We tell her to clean the area up at the start of June/December holidays and it's always the same at the end of the month. Let's see - there's lower secondary school stuff, and I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I said there would probably be some of her primary school stuff too, all of which she claims to need for O Levels. Then there's just a bunch of random stuff, bags, old D&T projects etc. Whenever we bring this up to the parents, of course, my mom would say "It's not messy." or "She needs those things" or "How does it affect you?" or "Why don't you clean up your stuff? Your stuff is in the corner too!" - Excuse me, but firstly, my things are properly stored in two plastic containers that are neatly stacked up against one side of the wall. Secondly, we're talking about my little sister's mess, not my non-existent mess. So that's the very first example of how my mom sides the little sister, when she's clearly in the wrong.

This is the little sister's corner. Mom calls this "very neat"
See those two translucent plastic boxes on the right? Those are mine. Only those. Mom calls it "so messy"

My little sister gets away with things that Farah and I don't. It's not a matter of age, I think. She's fifteen, I'm nineteen and Farah is twenty-two. Let's just point out the little things. Toothpaste on the shower floor. It's not that difficult to just make sure there's no toothpaste on the floor, or actually, why does she even squeeze that much toothpaste out of the tube? I brought this up to her and she said "I'm the first to shower the next day, so I'll clean that up." hOLD UPPPPP, what reasoning is that? Is that legit? First to shower everyday so it's cool that she just leaves the toothpaste on the floor then and again when she washes up at night? Hmmm okay. How about... leaving the fan or lights on when she's not in the room. When you hear this next story, you'll be like whaaaat? A few days ago, I was sleeping on the bed in my room. Nobody else was in the room, so I turned the standing fan (the only fan in the room) towards my head area of the bed. So I was sleeping peacefully in the dark with the breeze in my face, when I realised I was sweating profusely, why is that? I opened my eyes, and the lights were turned on and the fan was no longer at me, it was pointing towards my sister's table and she was studying. At what point did she think it was okay to turn the fan away from me, a person who was sleeping? Let's just get this clear, it's hot as hell without a fan in that room. So I was in the room first, sleeping, with the fan at me, and I woke up, and the fan was at her (Her desk is adjacent to the foot of my bed) So I shifted my pillow to the foot of my bed, and went to lay there. At the same time, I said to my little sister, "I was sleeping and you just turned the fan away from me? How rude can you get? How many times have I told you to just turn on the aircon if there's two people in the room?" And her response was "I don't want to waste electricity" WHOAAAAA REWIND BACK A SECOND. Recall that she's the one who leaves the fan and lights on when she's not in the room - and she's also the one who turned the fan away from me, for herself, and didn't want to turn the air-conditioning on - something that would benefit the both of us. So someone who understands her logic - PLEASE please enlighten me. I'm not that kind of person. I've seen her sleep on my bed countless times, taking a nap after studying so hard, and I would turn the fan (that is turned on, aimed at her empty table) towards her, & increase the speed because I know how hot it can get. I've also seen her asleep on my study chair - which makes no sense because she has her own, and I had intended to use my desk so I needed my chair, but seeing her asleep, I decided to do my stuff elsewhere in the house so I wouldn't disturb her sleep. That's the kind of person I am. So someone again, please explain to me why, when I'm explaining these incidents to my parents, my dad would call my sister and I "mean” or “looking for excuses to hate her" and he also calls this a "witch hunt". The little sister will leave the lights on and fan on when she goes downstairs for awhile but “awhile” is actually a few hours. My older sister and I feel like when we switch rooms or even go to the toilet, we'd turn off the lights anyway? It's not that difficult. It's also a common sight to see the light and fan left on in the study room when she decides to take a nap (of sometimes two/three hours long) elsewhere. Her excuse: "I'm coming back to the room later anyway" Anyway, when we bring up this issue to the parents, they say that this is a small matter and that wasting electricity is a trivial matter. I'm not even allowed to sleep in my own room (the study room) because "it's a waste of electricity to turn on the aircon" for me. So.. I'm not worth the electricity cost but she is? I'm sorry for shedding light on this issue. The lack of thoughtfulness and concern my little sister has for other people and other things worries me but that's considered "okay" by my parents' standards.


Another thing I find unfair/weird is how my mom would automatically make the bed for my little sister with no complaints, but has issue with me... making mine? Anyway, remember how I said my room is also the study room? Well, it used to be my grandfather's room. Before he died. I actually blogged about that. Read about that here. Anyway my mom still calls it "datuk's room" (datuk = grandfather) so the day after I woke up from that sleep I mentioned in the previous paragraph, she texted me. It went like this. (I'll post the translation)

Mom: Tidy datuk's bed. So messy.
Me: Why didn't Nadia tidy her bed? So messy.
Mom: You're sleeping there aren't you? If not, I will tidy it now.

(She assumed that after my sister went to school, I would move from my room to her bed.) (Also bear in mind, she leaves for school at 6:20am, school is 10-15 minutes away. School starts at 7:30, she had plenty of time to make her bed. I know I always do, back in secondary school, JC... The little sister spends at least ten minutes just wasting time downstairs - literally just sitting waiting - before leaving the house, so it's a fact that she could take two minutes to make the bed.)

At this point, I was like wtf? Two minutes after you ask me to tidy MY bed... you volunteer to make hers? Why not do both at the same time? Are we both her daughters? Yes. Are we equals? It seems like the answer is NO. She willingly and voluntarily makes my little sister's bed everyday without fail...and yet back in secondary school and JC, before I went to school she would say "Have you tidied up your bed?" That honestly just baffles me. I used to leave for school at 6:50am, it's a half hour ride to school. I usually reach at 7:20am, just 10 minutes before assembly starts. If I had the time to make the bed...why can't she? So yeah...explain the inequality/unfair treatment of your daughters. After the text of mom volunteering to make my sister's bed and not mine, I replied:

Me: Not sleeping. I already made my bed, and also Nadia's. Because obviously I'm not biased.

Let me just say that if I acted the way Nadia does, you would call me the devil. You guys are so used to me being nice, being responsible and helpful. If i don't do chores or do responsible stuff like I usually do (for legit reasons), I get nagged at and called names!!!!! Nadia gets away with it because she needs to study?? It was the June holidays when you told me this reason (more like excuse). When I was studying for A Levels, I still washed my dishes. exCUSE YOU our house have no dishwasher because the dish washer is me!!! I do what's expected of me, I guess. I just don't understand why you expect NOTHING from Nadia. (My mom still crushes pills for her, because she can't swallow them) I had trouble at first, but I learned. But it's okay for her to be incapable of swallowing pills? You're not at ALL encouraging her to try to swallow pills. You just, by default, crush them for her.) At this point, if my parents were to read this, I'm sure my mom would say "She gets straight As, what have you ever done?" Oh I didn't know it worked like that? So if I get bad grades, I do chores, if I get good grades then I don't? Was that why, you, mom, did so many chores? Because of your bad grades back in school? I am in no way claiming that I am some sort of angel, because I for sure as hell am not. I just don't understand how you are denying the facts that are presented to you, claiming that these are allegations, that the little sister is "just a baby" and that she can do no wrong, siding her with arguments that are invalid and when you know you're about to lose out, you yell "DON'T YOU DARE ARGUE WITH ME" Hey man, it's not an argument, it's just real facts that you REFUSE to accept. It's really not our fault that we have reached our limit for tolerance of Nadia's bullshit, and also yours.

Don't give me an excuse about her age, because at age fifteen, I recall washing the dishes, I recall making my bed all the time, I recall going to the grocery store to buy stuff for you, mom. Now, in Ramadan, the little sister is always the first to leave the table after iftar (breaking fast). Even at family dinners, she would leave the table before anyone else is even done with their food. More often than not, I'm the one who carries the plates, washes the dishes, and I highly doubt you show the least bit of gratitude towards me. I don't seek rewards from you for doing good deeds, I do it out of my own conscience. Just don't call me a bitch, when I'm merely stating the truth that you choose not to see about the little sister. Because CLEARLY, I'm a better human being than her. So what if she studies harder than I did, so what if she practises her faith more frequently than I do - those aren't legit points to show kindness, integrity, respect, responsibility or whatever. Like if a serial killer attends church every Sunday, does that make him a good human being?? No! Doing your prayers everyday does not excuse you from being a shady lying-ass bitch.


She now greets me whenever she walks into the room or I walk into the room by grunting an arrogant "hmph!" I often respond, "I'm your older sister, and you greet me like that?" I would very much appreciate if she didn't "greet" me at all. She often retaliates, when we're in a verbal fight, by calling me names that she knows I'm sensitive about - like calling me "fat ass" or "ugly face". She's just very rude and I've had enough.
So yeah, she's inconsiderate, arrogant, completely disrespectful and I'm just disgusted how my parents turn a blind eye towards her diabolical behaviour.

To the parents: Thanks mom and dad for always giving Far and I shit when we only want to tell you the truth. Thank you for rubbing it in my face when I fail to do what's expected of me like once out of every fifteen times, but hey, it's okay for Nadia. It's up to you to let her manifest her bad habits and disgusting attitude. Just don't call me evil or whatever when I've had enough and want to complain. -- Refer to quote in picture above -- Not only that, whenever we bring these issues up, you go into defensive mode, or worse - offensive. Please also bear in mind she's like this all year round and next month onwards, I'll also be in school. I wonder what excuse you'd have for her laziness then. Her rudeness, her lies? YOUR favouritism? Stop making it seem like we're the bad ones. You're in no way the perfect parents either.


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