Sometimes in class or lectures I will feel an immense need to just start crying because I'm just overwhelmed by all the information I have to know and understand and memorise and I know I can't do it. I seriously and frequently wonder why I agreed to go to Meridian Junior College. I had a raw L1R5 of 12 so technically I'm kind of at the bottom of the cohort already so that sucks. And I'm lazy, easily tired and I have bad memory. So that just equates to a failing grade. It doesn't help that I seriously lack any form of motivation at all. 

I'm so fucking pissed at my sister and her constant need for help with school work. She's already topping her class in most subjects, but how? With my constant fucking tutoring and her endless mugging and noisy memorizing and her never-ending whining to make me help her with her assignments. For math, sometimes when she has no time, she'll just tell me "Can you do with me" Fucking ridiculous I tell you. I'm already barely finishing my homework and I do zero studying yet she wants me to devote my time to teach her shit. She's so fucking incapable of doing her own research when most answers could be found online. And for art, most of her assignments are done by my mom lah she completely lacks imagination and has zero artistic skill like I've never met anyone who's so shit at art and she refuses to practice her art because she's "not taking it at O Levels what" Like what??? It's still a bloody subject you're taking right now - this year - don't just assign your work to OUR MOM. So fucking dependent on everyone I'm so pissed. She's trying so hard but it affects everyone. If you want to get amazing grades, good for you. Just don't expect me to spend hours every week tutoring you and helping you in every subject - even subjects I haven't studied in over three years - like history and physics wtf. And don't be so ready to delegate your art assignments to mom. Stupid bitch, do your own work by yourself. She refuses to ask her classmates because she doesn't want her classmates to know that she's actually mugging or doing homework in advance. So fucking competitive for what. She refuses to ask teachers because she's fucking scared or something like that. Leave me alone lah. 

*deep breaths* I apologize for the high usage of f words, I usually don't swear online and I never swear in real life. 

Now I'm not even in the mood to whine about my life. And I have a lot to whine about. I'm a whiny, almost-eighteen girl who likes to complain and I hate my life and I hate school and I want to kill myself but I can't because of my religion.

Laters, haters ✌️

Update: I might have sprained my jaw while yelling at my sister. This hurts.