Wednesday, January 14, 2015

What is it about really hot showers that make them so therapeutic? I still feel like shit, but slightly better after the shower, I guess. Anyway, I just feel really aimless right now. I really want to find a job so I can feel more productive and get money, I guess. My qualifications? Hmmm I have an O Level certificate, I'm done with A Levels and I have never worked before and I don't mind working weekends. $8/hr or more, preferably? I don't know what to work as, I guess I don't mind anything. I'm more than halfway through the book I'm currently reading. I'm at Page 614 and I really like it. I'm also almost finishing Modern Family haha just slightly over a season left and I'd have caught up with real-time episodes. 

I've been thinking about how important money is. I used to never worry, until I started buying things. It would be awesome if I had access to my bank account, but the amount of money I have in that is tragically small. I have lesser money than my little sister, for goodness' sake. And about university, I've dreamt forever to study overseas because I can't stand a minute longer here in Singapore. But turns out, I can't afford it. University for locals is heavily subsidised and if I were to go overseas I'd be a foreigner and I'd have to pay over $40k per year? That's a total of $160k for four years, excluding expenditure & accommodation. It's crazy how expensive everything is. Life is slightly easier for people with money, and for people without - it's crazy hard. I wonder how my A Levels results would be. I thought my O Levels results were gonna be bad. I got an L1R5 of 27 for Prelims in 2012 I think. So I thought my actual results wouldn't be any better, but I was pleasantly surprised when I looked at my grades. I shan't expect the same for A Levels though, it's definitely different. There's no way I would have jumped 6 grades like I did in a few subjects. Next thing is what I want to do in the future. I still don't know, it's ridiculous. I wish I could just run away, live someplace new. I just really wish I weren't here, I need to escape this. I just wish I had the money. Fuck money.

That's literally me.

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