We had the first Chemistry timed-trial during lecture today. It was completely horrendous, because I had a mental block and I couldn't think at all. So 45 minutes of me feeling like crap, and I handed up an almost entirely blank paper. There were 8 pages I think? I did only two sides, the first page and the last, and those pages were incomplete too. It was Bio lecture afterwards which was alright because I spent it sulking over chemistry, I was literally about to cry, because I've never left a paper that empty before. And I'm so dead because the one of the things Mr Lim absolutely hates - is when we leave the question blank - and I did that for six pages. I'm expecting Mr Lim to yell and nag and scold me but what can I possibly say? I had a mental block? He doesn't give a shit. I was unprepared + way too nervous, and that made me just completely blank. I read the questions over and over and I just didn't know what to do at all. It was pretty devastating. I was still quite frustrated about Chemistry even during PW, but PW was okay too. LKM pointed out that I have really bad eye bags and dark eye rings because I don't sleep much at all haha he's the nicest PW teacher ever. Bio consultation was cancelled because Ms Tan had an important meeting, so I left school.

I was just walking to the bus stop, with my music blasting through my earphones, and I was looking ahead but I suddenly turned my head and saw Nat sitting at the bus stop and he had this weird look on his face like "I can't believe you almost just walked past me". I like to wait at the other end of the bus stop, it's really just a habit and he said "Were you gonna walk home?" and it was my turn to stare at him in disbelief because I would never never walk home from MJ. It's quite close by bus (5 stops), but if I were to walk home... yeah no I would probably walk to the next bus stop or just collapse and die. Anyway, he told me that at the start of the year, when we were just getting to know each other, he saw me at the bus stop but he didn't actually know my name and he said "Ya lah your dp like scam only" That made me laugh like crazy because it's true, I look nothing like my display pictures, either on Twitter or Facebook. It's upsetting that he means I look a lot uglier in real life ah until he can't recognise me as Tiara but finally, an honest opinion!! 

Anyway, I got home and asked my mom if I could adopt a kitten from LY's cousin's senior (lol) but yeah she said no, because we have no space, no money, and she doesn't like the cat's face and colour hahaha. Then I showed her another picture. It's a picture of the mosque cat! And mom literally said, "I like this cat. Got the pathetic look, but not so pathetic. Macam "Jagalah aku" nye muka". I was telling her the story about how I thought this cat was pregnant, and then I said "Then the cat disappeared and tak muncul for months" and my mom went like "Muncul sey. Bahasa Melayu sey" and I laughed like crazy hahah I have the best mom ever.

I'm gonna take one step at a time, live life on a day by day basis. I won't worry (much) about tomorrow, I'll just care about the present. "One step at a time" could also describe how I was walking at Gardens By The Bay on Saturday. There were millipedes everywhere, and if you know me personally, you'd know that I hate worms a lot. I hate worms more than onions, more than ants, more than school. I was literally on the verge of tears, it was a really terrifying experience. I had to wake up at six in the morning for that event, but I reached home at half past two, and took a long-ass nap till about eight, then I woke up and watched a couple episodes of Kitchen Nightmares. Anyway, here are a few pictures I took on my dslr while I was at GBTB. The pictures are unedited because I can't be bothered hahaha

Anyway, today was really tiring, even though I finished school at 1:45pm. Tomorrow will be shittier because I end at 4:15pm so I should probably sleep now (I will after I finish this blog entry). My classmates said I looked pretty today. Because of my fringe. That's nice of them, I was really touched :')

I can't wait for Friday, but that means it's gonna be closer to Promos. I'm honestly terrified, I have the worst exam nerves ever. Every year during the end-of-year exams back in TK, without fail, I'd be so nervous that I'll fall sick. I actually vomited on the bus on the way to one of my exams hahaha it was really horrible.

Japan Trip might be pushed back a day later, which doesn't affect much, I just felt like saying that. Allegiant by Veronica Roth comes out 22.10.13 and the movie for the first book Divergent come out 21.03.14 so I can hardly wait. The Divergent series is one of my favourites. 

I'm really curious. How do people see me like? What do they think of my hair, my eyes, my smile, my face. My sister says we're always very highly self-critical. But I'm highly self-critical with reason. I'm 100% me, and I'm 100% flaws. And I hate it, I despise it really. I wish I could change. I guess it's superficial to judge my entire existence based on how I look, but that's what really matters, right? When you meet people, they look at your appearance, and decide whether they want to talk to you. That's also why it's called "love at first sight", you fall in love with their appearance first, you can't fall in love with someone's personality at first sight. I don't even like my own personality. This is kinda depressing hahaha. Zee retweeted something about wondering how people describe her to other people. I wonder too, how someone would describe me to someone who has never met me before. 

Oh well, have an awesome Monday (one hour of monday left yay, it's a step closer to friday) xx

Summary: A family is held hostage for harboring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legalized.

I finally caught The Purge today, close to two weeks after the release date. It was actually close to impossible to find any positive reviews and The Purge but I found it really good! Basically, the year is 2022, and unemployment is at 1%, and the crime rate is almost negligible. This is all thanks to the annual Purge where it is completely legal for citizens of the United States to commit any crime in a 12-hour period - rape, robbery, murder. Police/hospital services are not provided. This movie focuses on a wealthy family - the Sandins. James Sandin (Ethan Hawke) sells security systems, also almost to the entire neighbourhood of mansion-like homes. They were supposed to be safe after lockdown, in which all entries to the large home are barricaded with thick steel walls.

Everything's safe and sound until the stupid son Charlie (Max Burkholder) pities a homeless man who's screaming outside, seeking for a safe place to hide until the Purge is over. So yeah he's screaming, "Can anybody hear me?" and that stupid Charlie disarmed their security system and the homeless man manages to come inside. Zoey Sandin (Adelaide Kane - She plays Cora in Teen Wolf!!), the daughter, has a boyfriend who seems harmless and they're making out on the bed and all but okay let's skip that.


So awhile later, this group of scary people with weapons and masks just arrive at the Sandin's front door and announce that they will be left alone, only if they give the homeless man back to them. But the stupid Sandins are too stupid and too nice to just give that man back to the creepy people + he's gone off hiding somewhere in that stupid big house. Xinying and I were discussing that they could just find him and leave him near the front door and they could hide in a locked room as a family - and let the creepy people take that man. But this crazy Sandin family, just can't sit still and stay together - which annoys the crap out of me. It's an interesting storyline and all but the stupidity of the entire family and the crap things they choose to do (like c'mon, your family is in danger, can't you just stick with your family another few more hours?) made me want to stab myself to purge and cleanse my own soul.

It's also ridiculous that James Sandin sold these security systems to the entire neighbourhood and in the country whatever, and he earns so much money from it, but they're actually quite horrible. The creepy people so easily brought down the steel walls - what kind of security system is that? It's also stupid how simple it was to disarm the lockdown mode! It should have come with a fingerprint system or something because nothing would've happened if it wasn't for that stupid he-she Charlie.

No doubt, there are a several awesome, violent scenes which were totally cool - shotgun and axe-ing and all. Some scenes even made me jump out of my seat and made Xinying scream at a deafening 100 decibels. Mary Sandin (Lena Headey) is nothing like her Game of Thrones character Cersei Lannister, who is a total badass by the way. The wig was disturbing and I like her natural hair so much better. It was so frustrating but it was a wonderful movie and the little twist at the end makes you wonder how cruel humans can really be... Is it just in our nature to be violent, and keep grudges on people? 

Oh well, if you haven't watched the movie, you should. And if you have watched the movie then okay whatever. It's interesting and new, and frustrating but the violence and gore is A* and it scares you a little so B+ for that. I AM SO ANGRY but A+ movie go watch. Anyway, this movie review sucked because I suck but I don't give a shit because I'm just documenting my thoughts. I'm gonna go rate this on IMDb now bye

The weather's been amazing recently, although I admit I'm freezing and I'm always wrapped up in my blanket and I'm always cuddling with my dog and teddy bear. It's currently the September study break and so far I've paid my sleep debt. I had an extra Chemistry lesson today and he went through Hybridisation (da shit) and he gave back our most recent test! I got a U again, as usual, but I did better than I expected! (I have very low expectations of myself, but I have reasons for this okay). PW meeting lasted only two hours plus, but it was pretty productive because we finally came up with a super fun publicity plan! We're meeting again on Thursday and I hope we can fully complete our draft 2 and have a basic outline of our oral presentation slides and script because that's going nowhere. I'm so proud of us for finally doing the publicity plan, in all honesty, because we've struggled to find an original /creative publicity plan for weeks. Today's been really fun but I'm really tired now haha. I can't wait for tomorrow! I'm meeting my babe Xinying at I12 Katong at like 10 in the morning and then we're watching The Purge at 12.05pm and then it's studying time till a little later! I've been wanting to watch The Purge for quite awhile so I'm super excited!

Decided to focus on the raindrops instead! iPhone camera ftw

Sunday's lunch! Mom can you not

Today's lunch!

Old Town White Coffee's Western Platter - $8.80 /// This was really really really good.

Babe's not in the same group as me for PW but my group shared her discussion room today sorry thank you :')

Anyway, let's talk about one of my favourite bands, TwentyForSeven. I found out about them through a lovely online friend Ashreen who posted the link to this (and this), and I fell in love immediately and have been subscribed to them ever since (October 2012?). Recently, one of their band members Matt, left the band due to personal reasons and I am devastated because he's amazing and super talented and he makes funny faces during videos all the time so he's been so special throughout my time being a TFS fan. But life goes on, and I hope he'll eventually come back to the band! I love them so much, they're so wonderful. I've been going on Youtube very frequently to listen to them, and recently I've been doing that everyday, for hours, so guess what? I'm gonna put in a little extra time to download all their songs in mp3 so I can listen to it :) I still need to find my iPod! >:(

❤❤❤ love always ❤❤❤