Started a blog again just because I felt like it. It has been the most frustrating day ever. I was about to reach the bus stop and 89 left without me. I failed the most recent GP essay because I misinterpreted the question. I zoned out during Bio Lecture yet again, and then we had an extra lesson for Chemistry after school and we got nagged at for being too crappy. I realised I lost my iPod so I went to look for it and the librarian said a boy found it in the morning so I’m incredibly thankful. 

Speaking about getting nagged, after his nagging session, I feel more stressed than ever, yet here I am still blogging. I just feel completely shitty but I can’t be bothered to do anything about it. I just feel like I need more time to study and do my homework and do other stuff to keep my sanity. School is driving me mad, honestly and I don’t understand how I could, for one second, ever think that I could succeed. I’m an absolute failure, why hasn’t anyone given up on me yet?

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There’s so many things I’d like to say to you but I can’t even bring myself to say hi because wow I look absolutely horrid and you absolutely don’t and I’m too shy anyway and you’re so nice but then you don’t say hi to me when you see me either. I feel like giving up because hoping for something good to happen kind of sucks if I know you don’t even like me that way. Do I give up on you? 

Tuesday will be such a long day and then I have to study for the last Chem test of the term! God Mr Lim is so disappointed with our class (especially me, because I’m dumb) and I just want to improve so I’m actually doing my tutorials and studying and I just pray to God that I do better for this test. I feel so hopeless, and wow, what a depressing first-post. 

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” 

― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss