Just completed the Chem Bonding & Kinetics Test :/ I thought it was better than previous tests then I realised so many mistakes that I made and now I’m so pissed at myself and I just wish I were smarter. Eli pointed out that she’s gonna retain but she’s so smart like she’s beyond brilliant and she thinks she’s gonna retain and I’m just terrified at the thought of retaining. I mean it’d be better for me because maybe I’ll have more time if I retain but I can’t have this mindset of settling for what I think I can handle, you know? I need to just be better and improve and I just want to do well and get promoted but I’m failing everything.

I’m hoping Friday is a holiday like I swear to God I need this. If not, there’d be a mathematical induction quiz which would suck because I have no idea how to do it. The report slips will be given out tomorrow and I’m gonna get all Us so I’m not looking forward to that. God I’m like depressedkid96 or something geez.

And I realised something a couple nights ago. I’m not one in a million, I’m one in seven billion. I’m insignificant. I don’t matter. I could disappear and no one would notice. We’re all busy with our own lives – work, studies, everything. This is depressing.