Goodbye, Project Work!

Friday, November 08, 2013

While my blog was privatised for a few days, I had put up several blog posts but I decided they weren't appropriate for the internet to see. I googled myself awhile ago on google images, and found that there were quite a few pictures of me, as well as pictures from my blog, and also stills from the videos I've put up on my old youtube channel. I was rather freaked out and I panicked and that's why I privatised my blog. But I've thought about it and I actually have nothing to hide. This is my life and I would like to share it with you all. So, once again, my blog is now unprivate.

I've been feeling rather down lately. My mood's been fluctuating really bad. My happy days are a lot less than my sad days, but I'm glad I even have happy days. 

Anyway, let's see, PI is over, EOM is over, WR is over, OP is over. Now I'm left with only I&R and GPF which are both due Monday! Less than four days to sort it out. They said we'll have to follow ST's instructions so I'm cool with that. 

Feli, Xinying, Nabs, Me, Eli
MJ Bitches without Sidra because her OP was during the morning session! I'm so glad it's over! Eli wants me to blog about her again but I don't know what to say hahah. Eli looks really unglam in the first picture but remember at the start of the year she had fringe? I think she looks much prettier with her center parting. I think my entire clique is pretty, beautiful in their own way. I always feel like I don't fit in. I'm pretty much the odd one out. Eli, Xinying, Nabs and Sid are all the oldest sibling, while I'm the middle child. They're also all either Chinese or Pakistani and I'm the only Malay. I'm the stupidest, tallest, fattest, ugliest. It sucks, to be honest. Eli's really nice. She tweeted me saying, "Sadly your thoughts don't reflect the truth! You have such nice features! I have no idea why you would  think that you're ugly" Well, I'm pretty sure after years of having my parents tell me that I'm fat and that I'm ugly, I would believe it, right? Who wouldn't? My self-esteem and confidence vanished into thin air pretty much after I turned thirteen or something. 

Sam, Me, Kellz, Yan, James
This is my PW group, MJ122. A few more days, and we won't be a group anymore :( Ah look at the first picture. I was saying on our whatsapp group that I look like a baked potato because wow I look really extra brown, and LKM was like, "Baked potato?! No. Not at all" I do, though, hahaha but thank you LKM for being the best teacher ever. Anyway, OP was our last major group thing. Creating a thirty page Q&A document was really tiring (and sickening) and only two of MJ122 got questions that they prepared for! Mine was something that shocked me but it was a question that was very similar to one that I almost skipped on the Q&A document. I only put my answer for that question in point form but when I got asked that question for my actual OP, I was just in so much shock I kind of blanked out and had to think of new points. James commented afterwards that he was surprised I took so little time to think before I answered. I felt like I was silent for five minutes before answering. I guess not. Okay guess what, Mr Hotstuff was our accessor so I was freaking out (only a little). I embarrassed myself (a lot). The moment I walked in, I walked towards the chairs and somehow I tripped over the leg of the chair and that broke the silence. When I was sitting, my chair moved and shifted the other chairs in the row. I bet my face was red already (but it's not visible because I'm brown). During my Q&A session - I was quite alright for my first two points - although I felt like I was being very... bimbotic? I only realised that towards the end. Guess what!! After I finished my second point, I forgot what my third point was! I went, " Thirdly... um. *silence for a like ten seconds* OH! the mobility the bus offers!" I could've sworn I saw Adi laughing at me. The accessors also laughed at me. What was more embarrassing was in the middle of my third point - I forgot what I was talking about! My train of thought just went off the rails and fell into a deep hole of nothingness! I totally whispered, "What was I saying?" before I remembered my point and then continued rambling on before I spoke my last sentence and said thank you. And he said thank you back!! He was also the one to ask me my question which was so weird because for MJ120 and MJ121, the two accessors asked the question alternately! But for my group, it was female teacher - him - him (i'm third speaker) - female teacher - female teacher. I screamed a little internally when he looked up and asked me the question! In my head I was like "NO not you! The girl teacher is supposed to ask me" Hahahaha overall, I think this might just be the best presentation we've done. Good presentation, and good Q&A. I'm proud of myself for... well nothing to be proud of since I made a fool out of myself by forgetting my answer halfway. I'm proud of Sam for not saying "shit!" out loud, and I'm proud of Kellz and Yan and James for doing their best as well! Good job MJ122!!! 

I should sleep now! Waking up at noon to have brunch with Nabs at Wendy's then attending the Japan trip briefing and workshop from 3.30 to late. Goodnight! x

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