Dark Matter

Tuesday, March 03, 2015

I'm beginning to think my blog layout is way too bright for my personality. I liked my old blog layout more... if you guys remember that one? It was dark and nice but there was some stuff that I couldn't fix because I suck at HTML and even this layout took me days to edit (it took that long probably because I was watching a bunch of tv shows while doing it)... But whatever, I can't really be bothered to start on another layout again, maybe in a few months.

So, it was A Level results day yesterday! Surprisingly, I wasn't really nervous at all. I think my body was nervous though - does that make sense? for my body and mind to behave differently? - I fell sick the day about two days before A Level results day, and had a fever of 38.4 degrees Celcius that night. But whatever, enough about me so far. I'd just like to congratulate my ultimate babes for doing amazing - Nabs, who worked so hard to get the best grades she could and she did, made herself proud, made her family proud, made her friends and teachers proud too - Eli, who always doubted herself but managed to do so so well I'm so proud of you and I'm certain you'd be what you want to be, don't doubt yourself!! - XY, who is some sort of secret monkey genius who made through this without any outside help aka tuition but did excellently!!!! wtf haha congrats ily - Sidster, of course, who struggled like I did, but worked hard as hell and did wonderfully!! - Feliiiii, who I haven't seen since I got my results yesterday but I know you worked crazy hard too, I hope you did good too babe (even if you're not reading this haha) --- Someone else who deserves a big congratulations - Sam!! Photog buddy, PW groupmate, classmate, friend - it's been insanely fun working with you and hanging out with you and I know you've worked your ass off for your grades so you completely deserve it and I'm incredibly proud of you!!!!!!!!

My grades? Terrible. I was right behind Nabs and Mr Ng handed Nabs her results slip and yearbook and said "You still did good" I took my results slip and yearbook from Mr Ng and he didn't say anything to me and I was okay with that haha what could I have expected him to say anyway? I flipped my results for a second and there was that moment of relief and happiness that I passed everything - I honestly thought I would have failed math or chemistry or econs... Trust me though, that feeling of relief or joy for passing everything lasted just two minutes before the devastation set in. My brain just stopped thinking then and I was standing with Nabs and her mom and her cousin Nabil and brother Ashraff and Mommy Khan asked how were my results and I just showed her and she said "It's not bad!/It's good" I don't recall and Nabs was teary because of her amazeball results hahaha we were waiting for Nat/Saif and that was when I realised I couldn't really do anything or go anywhere with my grades - anyway it was so deja vu because the exact same thing happened for O Level Results Day - Nabs' mom was the one who would tell me I did okay/good hahah and then she drove me home haha #bffs4lyfe?? Nabs' mom was like "So what are you interested in" and I'm like "... Not much, really" which is the truth. Because an extra two years after O Levels didn't help clear my mind on what I want for the future. And that terrifies me. To have no aim at all? But anyway I met Nabil!!! Who's basically Nabs' cousin aka the nicer one (Nadhir don't kill me - he won't even read this who am I kidding hahaha) who helped me with my luggage in 2013 when Nabs' entire family was sending her off for our trip to Japan haha oh and I've probably mentioned this a million times but Ashraff is so tall wtaf I'm pretty sure the first time I met him, he was still in primary school but like now he's like gigantically tall!!!!!!! But yeah I have two off days from work so I have two days to consider whatever limited options I have for university. Good luck to me, I need it.

WTV BYE


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